ANXIETY

winter is coming” isn’t the only thing I could quote for what I’ve been through. Two days ago, the storm hit me hard with a lot of drama which I don’t create.

Last time the drama of life that happened in me was when I become a newly worker for one week, and the boss just being the boss, storm up the worker because I don’t make my Skype account visible. That’s it and you’ll become Dorothy blew out from Texas (rough and not safe).

There’s a reason why I pull myself out from people. Doesn’t mean I’m an anti-social or sociopath (which kind of scared me either), but I won’t have a connection that would make me stay or feel something about them. I used to felt that way when I was in highschool, but too many disappointment taught me not to trust another people easily or being too dependency.

When people start being nice to me, I feel weird. I don’t use to it. Doesn’t mean that is a bad thing, but I just feel weird and my anxiety come straight forward teasing me in my mind.

Should you believe in them?
Are they real?
Perhaps they just like you?
You should pretend you’re bad?

That thought keep teasing me and made me do what I don’t want to. The thing that I hate a lot is pretending.
Pretending I’m fine.
Pretending as a person I’m not to.
Pretending everything is gonna be ok.

I’m not me anymore.

I read people’s blog, I’ve touched by that.
I start writing and I pouring myself into it.
It feel nice, terrible, great, sad, dark, and pleased.

It may sounds like I need attention but with this post, I hope everyone who’s dealing something like me would over it and find a way to face it.

Sorry for this long post! :’)

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